STORIES OF HOPE
April 4, 2017, should have been a great day. I should have gone to my doctor appointment, seen my sweet, now 14-week-old baby on the ultrasound, and found out their gender (or at least a pretty good guess). I should have then left my appointment and gone to the store to pick out an outfit for either a little girl or a little boy, wrapped it in cute baby-themed packaging, and waited for my husband to come home from work so he could unwrap it and find out whether we would be welcoming a little boy or a little girl into our family that October. Instead, I found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat.
When I think back on our fertility journey, I’ve only recently been able to see the lessons in it. By identifying my weaknesses, it allowed me to grow personally. It added strength to our marriage by forcing communication and emotional reliance on each other. Embracing something positive from a negative has taken years and wasn’t an easy path.
My husband and I dated for SIX years before we were married. We talked about everything under the sun, especially children: How many? When do you want to start? How do you want to raise them? Do you have a name list? But we never talked about this. Sure, we might have agreed about adoption if we couldn’t have kids, but that topic was quickly dismissed since we both came from extremely large and fertile families. Surely infertility won’t happen to us? Ha! And here we were. I was completely taken off guard.